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Saturday, June 16, 2012

things I'm afraid to tell you


    
   Like probably many other bloggers, I'm totally guilty of painting my life rosier than it actually is. I don't do this purposefully, but I often worry about how others perceive me when I put myself online. In real life, you often don't have much control over the impression you give people. But when you blog, you suddenly have all the control. In some ways this is great, but I fear that my online image isn't 100%  honest. I'm going to try to be more transparent and truthful, and I thought this would be a good way to start!

   I came across the "Things I'm Afraid to Tell You," on Allie's blog, Beauty and the Feast. After reading what Allie wrote, I researched the origins of this great idea. It started with Jess, and a bunch of other bloggers followed suit thanks to Ez and Meg. So I thought I would give it a go! Here are a few things I'm a little hesitant to put out there...
   
  • Almost two months after moving in, the new place is still in a state of almost-disaster. The biggest explosion is my bedroom, where about half of my clothing is lying on my bed. Granted some of these clothes are on hangers...but that only makes it a teensy bit better.
  •  Also, all of the broken-down moving boxes are laying in our breakfast nook area, while a kitchen table is notably absent. Because of our table situation (or lack thereof), all of our meals are eaten on the couch. 
  • Today while at work, I was counting down my register when one of my coworkers notified me that the back of my skirt was stuck in my nylons...exposing my rear. Fabulous. Luckily I had jut taken my Clinique lab coat off, so I'm pretty sure she was the only one who saw. Her and probably all of Macy's security. I don't remember the last time my cheeks and ears became so hot and red!
  • I have an acne scar smack dab in the middle of my forehead. It is both bright red and raised, so even when I cover it up, you can still see it due to the bump. I know it's not a huge deal, but it makes me feel pretty self conscious. I've had it for over a year, and the dermatologist recently tried to squeeze it (apparently there is still crud in there) and only made it bleed. "I'm confident it will take care of itself eventually," he told me. Yeah, thanks Doc. Please, by all means, take my money for all the words of wisdom you have just bestowed upon me.  
  • I majored in Psychology, and intend on becoming a counselor. The thing is...I'm kinda bitter about how much counselors make, considering how much school is required. I want to be able to take vacations, damnit! 
  • Sometimes I worry that counseling is just what I tell myself I want to, because I haven't come up with anything better yet and I'm running out of time. I know I'm not...I'm still young...but I know so many people who are so certain in what they want to do that it makes me feel crappy and unambitious. 
  • I probably watch too much TV. I rationalize this by telling myself I mostly watch "good," TV, like Game of Thrones, Boardwalk Empire, Breaking Bad, Weeds...you know, HBO and Showtime kinda stuff. But still...probably too much TV. 
  • I pick at my nails. Not a great habit. 
  • I'm an Atheist. Not something I'm ashamed of, but I think some people are offended by it. If you are religious, great. I don't have a problem with it unless you start trying to cram it down my throat, or try to use your personal believes as a way to dictate other people's lives. 
  • I don't like big parties. I know this is pretty common, but if you're in college...this can be a problem. These parties are often filled with a bunch of people who base their opinion of you on how much you can drink. This does not sound like fun to me. Yeck. 
  • Okay, not only to I not like big parties...but social situations in general make me anxious. This varies depending on how well I know the people. I just worry that I'm uninteresting and making conversation will be difficult.
  • After a night of drinking, I crave McChickens. 
  • When I was little, I had two imaginary sisters. Yeeaahh. Then when my sister was born, I asked my mom if we could take her back. Obviously, the reality of having a sister wasn't quite what I pictured. 
   
   Well, I guess that wasn't so bad. Maybe I should make these posts a regular occurrence. 

10 comments:

  1. I loved reading this, Amanda. It's great to see people "exposing" themselves on their own blogs in such a different way than expected and normally portrayed.

    I am an agnostic atheist, so I completely understand the whole aspect of some people being offended by it.

    Thank you so much for sharing this, Amanda.
    I think I need to do one of these posts as well. Yours is just so inspiring.

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  2. I love when bloggers do this! It makes them seem so much more real, y'know? I'm still mustering up the courage to do my own Things I'm Afraid To Tell You post, lol. By the way, HECK YES to Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad. I can't wait for season five in July!! :D

    daydream frenzy

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    xx

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    1. Me too! I think my boyfriend and i might be getting rid of our cable though...so I will have to figure out a way to watch it!

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  3. i also pick at my fingers... and i don't like parties to see how much you can drink (personally i'd like to drink how much and whatever i want when i want and not my judged hahaha). also my room is always an explosion of clothes.

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    1. I feel the same way! Drinking mass quantities of beer and passing out is no fun!

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  4. "I'm an Atheist. Not something I'm ashamed of, but I think some people are offended by it. If you are religious, great. I don't have a problem with it unless you start trying to cram it down my throat, or try to use your personal believes as a way to dictate other people's lives.
    I don't like big parties. I know this is pretty common, but if you're in college...this can be a problem. These parties are often filled with a bunch of people who base their opinion of you on how much you can drink. This does not sound like fun to me. Yeck.
    Okay, not only to I not like big parties...but social situations in general make me anxious. This varies depending on how well I know the people. I just worry that I'm uninteresting and making conversation will be difficult."

    We are twins.

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  5. ha ha.
    you sound like a lot of psychology majors. i am one myself, making my way into the graduate program. psychologist can make 6 to 7 figures after a few years of experience. & when i say experience, i mean working with a diverse population of people & networking with the right people as well.

    it also helps to have a doctorate as well. it's tricky being a psychologist, but i know you can do it!

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  6. It's like we're the same person... scary. I feel the same way about wanting/struggling to be a counselor, I feel the same way about social situations and parties etc :)

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